This past summer I took a tip to Seaside Heights, NJ to make fun of guidos. You know, just a fun Parla family outing aimed at celebrating our cultural superiority over a bunch of classless, orange skinned juice heads. I was totally unaware that MTV was filming their glorious reality show Guido Beach Jersey Shore at the time. While I think the show adequately showcases the landscape and recreational offerings of the town I lovingly call Sleazeside, I feel as though they don’t focus enough on the food. Sleazeside is a bastion of wholesome Jersey Shore treats. Here they are in no particular order:


In Italy, zeppole are deep fried pastries filled with cream served on the Feast of San Giuseppe. In Jersey, a zeppola is a greasy dough ball. Like “freakin poof” inventor Snookie.


This is one of the few foods in the world I am truly afraid to eat. I draw the line at dirty intestines.


Sweet sausage served on a roll with peppers and onions. This is one Jersey Shore delicacy I cannot pass up.


This is another. Soft serve is magical.


And you can get a bucket sized serving, too.


And finally, the biggest friggin’ pizza yous eva seen. You can get 20 slices out of a pie this big. That is cumulative IQ of Jersey Shore’s cast members. Coincidence?